It's a new year and many have made resolutions that they will not keep. I stopped making resolutions a long time ago because there is a bit of folly in holding such high expectations to one special day. I have been disappointed many times by so called "special" days. Preferable to me is celebrating a new day every morning because there are 365 chances to set and fulfill good intentions.
A very common category for new year's resolutions is self care. However, it is a huge challenge for new mamas to fit it in. There is a belief that babies' needs have to come first and we all know how demanding that is. I love this quote from a book I am currently reading: "It's impossible to be a good parent to your child if your own needs go unmet. Give yourself permission to go to the well to refill your pitcher." In Life Will Never Be the Same Again, The Real Mom's Postpartum Survival Guide by Ann Dunnewold and Diane Sandford, they give the analogy of us moms being like a pitcher of water. Eventually the pitcher becomes empty and there is nothing more to give unless it is refilled. Imagine having nothing more to give to your child! Is that in your child's best interest? Of course not. Our children NEED us to be happy and healthy. Notice I did not say perfect supermom. So we need to keep our pitchers full.
What does filling our pitchers look like? It can look differently for everyone but I think the essentials are the same. Our basic human needs are adequate nutrition, sleep, hygiene, exercise and love. In the first few weeks with a newborn, it is usually hard to even fit these fundamental activities in. This is where setting priorities and being willing to ask for help comes in.
Today's families are often scattered across the nation making it difficult to find someone to ask for help. A postpartum doula can fill this gap. I thoroughly enjoy serving families in the Helena area. Making light meals, doing laundry, helping with breastfeeding etc, facilitate time for sleep, nutrition, showers, light exercise and spending a few quiet minutes with your partner to fill your soul up again.
Mama, will you resolve to go to the well with me everyday?