Date Night - Tips for Intimacy after Kids

It's February and Valentine's month. While I am not a huge fan of celebrating Valentine's Day (if you are, that's great), I am all about date nights. It is a challenge, however, to make date nights happen once the kids start arriving on the scene. But it is more important than ever to nurture your relationship with each other once you have children. A strong, healthy relationship will help you be the best parent you can be and will set the stage for well

adjusted, happy children. All too often the kids become the center of attention when it would be much better for them to be welcome additions to the family and your relationship with your partner be your priority.


I'd like to share some tips and ideas for nurturing your love for each other when you're too tired to venture out for a night on the town or too broke to do anything fancy. Any of these ideas can be used on their own or combined with one or more on the list.


  • Buy a steak and cook a meal together at home after the kids are in bed. (much cheaper than going out to eat and you can have fun cooking together.)

  • Grab a small bouquet, some candles and maybe some chocolates from your favorite local shop and clear a space in your house to sit an enjoy it together.

  • Make a dessert together.

  • Snuggle on the couch and read a novel together. My husband used to read to me often after the kids were in bed.

  • Find your inner child and make a snowman or have a snowball fight. Snow angels are always fun too.

  • A fire always brings out the romance. If you have a fireplace, use it often. If not, create a fire pit outside and use it often (except of course in our hot, dry Montana summers).

  • Sit and tell stories to each other about your childhood, or dream about a vacation you would like to take someday.

  • Play a board game. My husband always said he didn't like games but once he got started, he usually enjoyed himself!

  • Give each other a 10 minute massage. Ten minutes doesn't feel like much but it can do wonders.

  • Frequent 30 second hugs can do wonders for getting the oxytocin (love hormone) working.

  • Have a shower or bubblebath together.

  • Dance in the living room.

  • Make popcorn and watch a movie.

  • Create some art work together. Paint, doodle, color. Use the kids art supplies or if you want to get a little fancier, do an online paint night class.

  • Make a bucket list together.

  • Write or read some poetry.

  • Have a picnic in the backyard or the living room.

  • Create something fantastic with the kids lego or Lincoln logs.

  • Babysitters can be expensive so find some friends to exchange babysitting times with. We did this once a month with some friends whose kids were the same age as ours. The kids had a blast and each of us couples had a monthly date night.

I would love to hear what you do for date nights. Drop them in the comments.



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